Anger is a secondary emotion.
I really feel like a legitimate adult for saying that. 😂
Have you watched the movie entitled Inside Out?
They have reiterated some of the basic emotions human beings have, including Joy, Fear, Anger, Sadness, and my personal favorite (because of her style and lashes), Disgust.
But anger is usually just a cover up for a primary emotion we’d rather not surface.
Here’s a good example I can state.
My father was scolding my sister and I for having to go out at 7PM to run. He says we could do it in the mornings instead, and that it is not safe to go out these days, especially at night. He even asked if we are being reasonable and if we are using our heads.
Had I been my old self, I would have trudged outside making unlimited ‘bulong’, that if heard by my mother, would have ended up in unlimited ‘sapok’. You know how #AsianMomsBeLike (Hi Mom! 😰)
But I understood my father in that regard.
Underneath the seemingly strong aura he is trying so bad to portray, he is actually worried.
But that is yet another concealment that covers the actual, utmost, and raw truth. Because behind it all, his real reason is fear.
In reality, my father is scared something bad may happen to us.
And I know that even if he reads this, I can still stand my ground because he can’t deny it. Right, Dad? 😉
I mean, I don’t know about my sister, but who can resist losing a daughter this awesome, A.K.A. me? 😂 (I’m half kidding, of course. You know I live to pester my siblings, and I tend to believe the same for their existence.)
Another example is myself. I tend to be angry at the littlest of things. Damn, my college moniker wouldn’t be Batas (The Law) for nothing. 😏 Berserk if you may, as how others put it, that if I’d been an emoji, this is the perfect resemblance: 😡
But what others don’t know is that I have been studying myself for the longest while now, and what I have discovered is that there is always an underlying issue as to why I’d rather get angry.
As you may not know yet, I have several and thorough veils of hidden bullshit. And only a very few (I like to call them ‘my people’) can unravel them.
I get angry. (FEAR)
I get angry. (INSECURE)
I get angry. (ANXIETY)
I get angry. (UNCERTAINTY)
I get angry. (LONELINESS)
I get angry. (IGNORED)
I get angry. (THREATENED)
I get angry. (GRIEF)
I get angry. (CARE)
I get angry. (PAIN)
I get angry. (PMS)
I get angry. (HUMILIATION & EMBARRASSMENT)
I get angry. (FAILURE)
I get angry. (DISAPPOINTMENT)
I get angry. (JEALOUSY)
And the list can go on.
It’s just easier to show anger (STRONG), than admit I’m a failure (WEAK), or that I care (WEAK), or that I’m insecure (WEAK).
I am not saying it’s right or that I have every right to get angry, or am entitled to do so. Nope. It’s not. I’m not. Far from it, actually.
I am still a work in progress. And I know I can do better in the long run. #DisclaimerGamingStrong
But what I found out is that…
Only if we LOOK through the reasons underneath, then maybe we can SEE what is going on further. (Instead of just seeing the scowl faces.)
Only if we LISTEN closely in, then maybe we can HEAR the pleas. (Instead of just hearing the raging voices.)
Only if we FEEL through our hearts, then maybe we can TOUCH lives. (Instead of just feeling the annoying circumstances.)
Imagine how wonderful of a world that would be.
So, the next time you argue with the people you love the most, try to look, listen, and feel.
Maybe that would make you understand them better.
Maybe that would make a difference.
Maybe that would take you by surprise with the outcome.
Shall we try it?
I know I should.
Life is a never ending learning process.
And this is one from me today.