🚽 You see, I used to have an identity crisis for as long as I can remember.
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I set myself to be defined as someone who likes this or that.
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I set myself to take as much effort to look and sound a certain way.
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I set myself to make sure that I am versatile.
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I shift very easily. I can be a girly-girl one day, and then a tomboy the next. A dancer one day, and then a singer or a guitarist the next. A lazy happy-go-lucky person one day, and then a very diligent pursuant the next. A toughy and dominant knight-in-shining-armour one day, and then a feeble and submissive damsel-in-distress the next.
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But then I've gone to a point where I've gotten very tired. Because, what's the point?
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I mean, I enjoy being all those sides. They're still all me. But it makes me feel that depending on who is watching, I tend to switch auras easily. So in that, I realized:
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I don't have to rely on how people perceive me to be.
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I don't have to be another person but myself.
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I don't have to pretend to be someone I do not even know.
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I don't have to be anything other than what I've always been and will be.
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So here's why I am posting my own capture of a "Comfort Room".
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Here where we can unapologetically be who we really are.
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Here where we can be stripped off naked.
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Here where all that matters is the beautiful image of a person in the mirror who struggled and fought with you through your journey.
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Here where we don't have to mind what other people say.
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Here where we cry silently when we don't want anyone to hear.
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Here where we aren't judged to the tiniest bit.
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Here where we take a load off of our crap in life.
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Here where we come off clean after being dirty for a while.
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Here where we are most comfortable about ourselves.
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I feel like it deserves all the right to be called a "Comfort Room" don't you think so? I mean, it indeed is a place of comfort if you think about it - and literally and figuratively at that.
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So just be you! You're BE-YOU-TIFUL!
🍽 Surprisingly, I've been enjoying my time in the kitchen a lot.
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I go to the market myself to buy the ingredients for what I want to make, for example.
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And then I also try to keep what I make as healthy and as close to natural as possible.
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For how many months now, I even kept making Kimchi continuously in hopes of perfecting the authentic taste.
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I didn't know it would cause me so much pleasure to be serving good food and sumptuous meals for people I love and appreciate.
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What seemed to be such a chore when I was younger are now what helps make me feel fulfilled.
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In a sense, it makes me think that, of all the things I ever want to be, being a homemaker is probably one of my main purposes in life.
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And if so, I swear I'm going to be so damn good at it!
🌱 When I look at myself in the mirror, I used to see a person who locks herself up in a room with a knife in one hand, who shaves all her hair off, who tries overdosing in medicine, and who thinks about slashing her own wrist without hesitation.
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I then frowned and told her: "You didn't know it, did you? You died every day for the past years."
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And it haunts me, until this very day, as I see my old self in the pit where I once were, drowning into the taste of what I then thought was right, and what I deserved.
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Although day by day, and little by little, I get courage out of vast nothingness. I stop pushing away every little thing that seemed too good to be true, and I try to be stronger in the eyes of those who look up to me.
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When I look at myself in the mirror, I now see a person who locks herself up in a room with a guitar in one hand, who paves all her fears off, who tries overdosing into the sounds of laughters and positivity around her, and who thinks about slashing the wrong people off her list without hesitation.
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I then smiled and told her: "You didn't know it, did you? For the first time, you lived."
