This is a shit post. Now it is up to you if you’d still want to go further, but don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.

I am contemplating about how I can break it to you gently, and then rudely burst your bubble afterwards. Because there is no easy and step-by-step way as to how.

Hate to say it, but you will feel miserable most days. That’s a given.

“So, how do you get over a heartbreak? Honestly, you can’t…”

Alright, you can stop reading now since you just got the answer you’re looking for.

“Rrrrr. Click bait!” I hear you say.

Nonetheless, there are things you can do to soften the blow. And if you’re still up for it, I’ve written them down below.


The Experience

They say there is no other way around, and there is no way out. In the same way people travel for the experience, consider this another journey. Your journey to healing. You have to feel the pain. Only by then can you differentiate agony from comfort, and loneliness from happiness.

The Solitude

Do not be afraid of being alone. Although usually when being alone is when you feel the deepest seethe of pain, let it be. Do not be afraid of yourself. Accept yourself. Accept what you feel. Accept the ache – your ache. Accept your situation. Accept that what you are going through is something that will make you as a person in the future when you look back to it in time. Giving yourself time alone will allow you to get to know yourself better no matter how odd that may sound.

The Chores

Make yourself busy. Keep yourself preoccupied. There are tons of things you can do, just look around. The bedsheets and the curtains – how long has it been since they were last changed? Is your kitchen sink dish-free? Can your toilet and bath use some cleaning? Is your laundry basket already complaining?

The Make-Over

Be the person you want to date – or so they say. Get a haircut. Choose a career. Read books. Go to the gym. Travel. Get a degree. Converse. Pursue your dreams. You just freed yourself from something that might have held you back in a while. Now is the time to do the things you have always wanted to do.

The Diversion

No, you don’t need more tequilas and vodkas. Although you can divert to a whole lot of other things, be careful about the kind of diversion you choose to lay your focus on. There are tons and countless of diversions you can choose to fill in the gap and the absence you’re currently undergoing. Just make sure that it helps make you, and not break you further, as a person.

The List

List down all the reasons as to why the relationship did not work out in the first place. And then list down all the reasons why you are better off not being in that relationship at all. List down all the reasons why you can make it out of this relationship alive, no matter how much it feels otherwise – for now. Carry this list with you and read it back, aloud, if you should, whenever you feel the ‘feeling’. You know what I am talking about for sure.

The Adage

“Out of sight, out of mind.”

Can’t throw away the things that remind you of the person who broke your heart? Keep it somewhere where you can’t see it. The same goes for all the pictures within your relationship. You do not necessarily have to burn them off, erase them, or throw them away – depending on what you feel will help you. Because after all, all those are memories that were undeniably once a part of your life.

The Friends

Where are your friends at this point in time? You can use some support system. Gather them all out!

The Routine

Get yourself on a routine, even on the weekends. If you must, jot down all the things you must do within the day from when you wake up to when you get back to sleep. This will not only help you get into a routine, it will also help you accomplish little victories which are very rewarding and are highly beneficial for anyone’s well-being.

Now if I may just continue what I was saying earlier before you rolled your eyes on me…

“So, how do you get over a heartbreak? Honestly, you can’t. In a nutshell, you do not get OVER a heartbreak. You get THROUGH it.”


Now, do me a favor and remind me to re-read this whole article when my judgment is cloudy, and the days are a bit draggy.

We’re in this together.









(A Name Poetry)

Every time I put you down,
Very painfully misunderstood
Embrace it you did, with a small frown
Like no other person would

You wait patiently on my closed doors
Neither a trace, nor clue, nor sound
Silent are you with the outpour
Of deep sadness I had for you found

Regretful then will I be
In all these days and years left
At the countless times that rather we
Nicely put on a show of emotion theft

One day I will just lose you
But I sure do hope I won’t
After all we can always start anew
Remember what to do and don’t

Reminiscing from when I was in your womb
Entailed in my childhood glory
Doubting not, until whose tomb
Our mother and daughter story



Happy birthday, Ma! You are loved. 





“Icho buhday, we gon’ pahteh layk, icho buhday!”

You feelin’ it?

*swerves head following the groove*


No, that’s not Swahili.

Sing it with me!

“Icho buhday, we gon’ pahteh layk, icho buhday!”

I hope you are all enjoying this day, as much as I am.

The electric company decided to throw my very first surprise for the day, and boy, am I bedazzled!

Have any guesses?

Well, an 8-hour power outage! How bow dah? So uplifting! *sulky face*

Nevertheless, that does not take away my optimism for the day!

I have nothing grand planned. In fact, I do not really pay special attention to my birthday because I grew up that way.

Usually, I am content if my family remembers and greets me in an entirely cringe-worthy manner possible. “Happy birthday!”

But don’t get them wrong. My family, as wacky as they may be, aren’t a showy bunch. We all aren’t expressive, if I may generalize.

I remember one time, they greeted me on a plain white paper. Written in red marking pen were the words “Happy Birthday!”, and it was hanging on our peach colored curtain by itself in our receiving area, which is a good angle to be in, as I saw it as soon as I woke up and got out of my room. I have a feeling I just turned 7 then. Or 6… Or 8. Anyhow, I wish I kept that piece of paper. It was special.

There was also one time when I received a rectangular box from them, it was red and white. In front, a pink paper was glued. It was a letter from all of them – my family. Inside, there was a brand new mobile phone. If I am not mistaken, I was around 16 that time.

Apart from those, I only see the pictures in our album. That of my first birthday party that I can barely remember, where neighbors all around IV-B celebrated with us.

I’m still thankful. This is why I am also appreciative of the very few who remember.

Like when I turned 18, some friends who seemed like family back then, sang “Happy birthday!” to me,  where my supposed cake were instead packs of cooked Lucky Me! Pancit Canton, surrounded by Nissin Wafers, (Hey, I am open to advertising gigs!) and had a candle in the middle the size of what you use on All Soul’s Day.

I swear, I cried. Oh, and not because of the gigantic candle, I promise!

But today, I wanted to celebrate my birthday, for a change.


In the most unusual way possible.

I have given it so much thought when I decided I’d give myself a gift of myself.

“W-w-wait. What?”

Oops, I caught you! I saw you did a double take.

A gift of myself to myself.

Let me explain.

I’ve been working on this gift for quite some time now. A gift I know I cannot instantly give myself.

Something that won’t happen in a snap of a finger, or a blink of an eye, or the content of my wallet all surrendered to the cashier. Something that would take too much time, effort, discipline, and perseverance. Oh, and patience!

A gift of myself to myself – a happier & healthier version, simply put.

Sounds like a tagline from a commercial advertisement, yeah? But truth be told, it ain’t easy, and won’t ever be.

You see, as a single mother of two little ones who always keep me on my toes, I am sure I can use up all the excuses available. And there are a tad load of them!

But, no.

I mean, why?

Why when I am now 8 kilograms lighter than when I started?

Why when my Hangul is more fluent than it had ever been?

Why when my skin has cleared out a lot?

Why when my double chin is slowly bidding me farewell?

Why when my health is slowly but surely getting into tip-top shape?

Why when I can say “Jij betekent de hele wereld voor mij!” or Ik ben een konijn, alstublieft oordeel niet, hartelijk bedankt!” without getting tongue-tied?

Why when my mood swings have lessened?

Why when my collarbones are proving me wrong about their non-existence?

Why when my spending has mellowed down?

Why when my kids tell me that I’m their star, their heroine, and that their love for me will see no end?

Why when my smiles are more evident?

Why when my hair – well, it has its own pace, but it’s getting back to normal? #ByeBlonde

What I’m only implying is that no matter how little, I see progress.

A progress where I am rewarded with a better sense of self-worth every time. A self I have learned to love so dearly and more than ever, since I began this journey.

So why would I stop now?

Especially, now!

Now, that I engage in several activities in hopes I can maintain an active lifestyle.

Now, when I started indulging in personal growth sessions as much as I can squeeze them in my schedule.

Now, that I try to think, act, and breathe as positively as I could.

And now, where I am slowly ousting drama in my life, with the exception of Korean ones.

*sneers at the thought that I might have just dropped a really good pun*

Why now?

*brushes my khaki corduroy blazers that I don’t actually have in real life*

So, that’s the road I am currently taking. #TheRoadTo30 *frowns* 

That’s the gift of myself to myself. *smiles back at the wholesome idea*

Moreover, I’m working on a huger project.

One that I’d like to fondly call…

*insert Stars by The Weepies in the background*

Living A Life Of Legacy

You see, at this time and age, I feel like I am already halfway through my life. Who knows, right? And I don’t feel like wasting any moment further.

I only ever wanted to reach out and make sure people are okay. That they don’t feel alone in their loneliest of days. That they don’t feel desperate looking for someone to talk to yet no one is around.

It’s hard. But I’m here! And I should honestly make an effort to make myself useful. I don’t want to die living this way. I don’t want to live dying this way. I don’t want to be forgotten, just like that. I want more from life. I want to look out for people. I want to be the person to worry about them when nobody does.

And thus, I want to live a life of legacy that way. If not for everyone in the world, at least for people whom I know, or have been with, or will meet. I’m trying to make it up to a lot of family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers, even.

Mostly those whom I feel are like me.

Those who would take a lot to unravel their depths.

Those who have the same tendency as I do.

Those who built their walls too strong.

Those who raised their standards too high.

Those who set their expectations too unrealistic.

Those who shut people off.

Those who shaved their heads.

Those who went mental.

Those who became suicidal.

I’ve been there. In fact, I’ve been through so much.

But so did everyone.

Yet, if I could and have the ability to, I don’t want people to experience that. I do not want anyone to go through the same. At least not in my sight.

If you are going through that now, you’ve come to the right place. Consider this a sign.

When at times, you feel like your only escape is to end everything right there and then, believe me, it isn’t. There is hope.

“For all you know, the universe is rigged up into your favor.” I saw this in one article not too long ago. Very beautiful, isn’t it?

Whether you are experiencing something good or bad right now, know that when you look back after a few years, you would see how things have fallen in place.

I, myself, am slowly picking up the pieces and decided to live life as happily, as positively, as actively, and as openly as I ever could.

As a matter of fact, I created a standard of how I wanted to live my life – meaningfully, that is.

Hopefully, you will too. No, I mean, you should.

Small things. Ripple effect.

Let’s make the world a little more tolerable to live in. Shall we? Yeah? Are you with me on this? *grimaces*

I want you to know I’m here, if anything. Just reach out. Try me. I’ll be around.

Happy birthday to us, if reading this felt like you’ve just been birthed, and that you can start anew, with me alongside of you!





Obviously, I am already back to the Social Media game.

But there were certain points in my life where I decided to quit it.

And you may ask, why don’t you just literally take a break altogether and leave your Social Media profiles on?

I thought about that too. And in a horrendous amount of time, at that.

Yet I can’t. I have to delete them in totality. Knowing that they exist, will only have me access them back no matter what.

2013 was when I quit Social Media.

I seriously shut most of my communication lines down.

But from time to time, I do say hi. Here and there, I would create dummy accounts just to see how things are, and because I miss my family and friends.

If you were one of the people I’d like to get news from, I am sure you have experienced getting a follow from me on a dummy account every now and then, which I fully delete as well afterwards.

January 1, 2018 was when I created my official Social Media profiles again.

But why did I quit for four (4) years? Here are my reasons why.

I don’t feel obligated to like or post.

Usually, I get this feeling of being obligated to react on a certain post just because a certain person (usually someone close or significant) posted them. It’s courtesy of some sort.

In the same way how a friendship ends when you unfriend each other on Social Media.

Weird, isn’t it?

It’s just Social Media anyway, and shouldn’t affect your relationships in real life. Apparently it is the thing these days.

And it is, by all means, sad.

But going back, I decided I didn’t want to be a slave of likes, comments, reactions, and shares, whether it is my post or another’s.

It allowed me to use time more efficiently than uselessly scrolling in Social Media.

You see, we only have 24 hours in a day, and it is really up to us how we’re going to use it. I used to play MMORPGs aside from having games on my phone.

And I realized, there are a lot of other things that require my time other than seeing where this celebrity went, or what’s in and hot, and which restaurant is worth visiting.

I needed to get a grip of my life back.

I focused on:

Personality Development – Hygiene, Skin Care, Language, Work Out Routine, Healthy Food Intake

Family & Friends – I try my hardest to spend more time with my family and friends on a personal level and not just keeping in touch by tapping my keyboard or my phone screen.

Work – I found I can concentrate better the more I achieve things which I couldn’t do when I have other things cluttering my mind.

Vice – My only vice nowadays is Korean Dramas, but I often give it justice by telling myself I get to learn the language as I go.

I am not forced to go somewhere, or do something just so I can post them on Social Media.

You know that feeling, yeah? I know that feeling all too well.

Sometimes we do things not because we are used to it, or are comfortable with the lifestyle, but just because we kind of want to brag, or show how we’re living our lives better than the others.

You know how you’d buy something, or go somewhere just because you want to post them on Social Media? Or you shop and eat these type of things, because, they’re trending and viral? Yet deep within you, you know you care less about it?

I am guilty of this.

But I try not to do so, anymore, as much as possible.

I don’t want to create a make-believe life that’s good on the outside and rotten on the inside. I’d rather work my way inside out.

And so I quit, and reflected.

No notifications every now and then.

No distractions.

In pursuit of my personal goals, it was very helpful not to get notifications from time to time that Social Media is very generous about.

If people had to contact me, they can either email me or text me. But it doesn’t happen ever so often – which is good. It allowed me to focus more on what I should and wanted to focus on.

It gives me peace of mind.

Needless to say, after all the reasons I said above, giving Social Media a break gives you clarity. Our worlds shouldn’t revolve around Social Media. So we shouldn’t let our real lives be wrapped around it.

Since I have gotten back, here are the points I made sure of, so as to prevent what I initially intended to get away from.

  • I use Social Media in moderation.
  • If I do not have a special need to, I do not keep the application on my phone.
  • All notifications are turned off.
  • I access them on my PC, more often than not.

Did you, at some point, felt like you should be quitting or taking a break from your Social Media profiles?

Hopefully this helps and works out for you!





It’s a thing for 2018 – these Instagram Story Highlights.

And while many of you are okay with the occasional highlighting of your trips and food on your Instagram stories, some of us are just way too structured to organize our own covers for all these highlights, as if the label itself is not enough. *raises hand and pleads guilty*

There are also those who are more than willing to pay $10 or more for a customized one, and in that regard, I am not one of them.

Say it’s frugality at its finest as you please, but I am more on the thrifty side (or at least recently), and will opt to do things my way if I know I can.

With all these in mind, I have put up some easy steps you can follow to create your own Instagram Story Highlights Cover, based on how I created mine.

How To Create Instagram Story Highlights Cover

First off, I went to my trusty old Canva account which is my go-to application whenever in need of anything creative online, and where I do most of my “Graphic Design” if I am giving it justice to call it that, or if I can deem it as a skill of mine, at all.

You may also use PicMonkey, Photoshop, and what have you – but they’re just way too out of my league, as Canva is very user-friendly. And when I say ‘very’, I mean I am too technically challenged to bother doing it elsewhere, and also, that I am dumb. #TechnoMoron

In Canva, you can choose which type of design (or size) it is. As for me, I opted for Social Graphic which is 800×800.

At this point, I don’t think they have anything set up for the Instagram Story Highlights Covers – yet.

And in my opinion, there aren’t too many people who will actually give a damn about it.

Just a few of us, surely. Including you, that’s why you’re here! Hahaha!

After choosing your desired size, you can click on Elements on the tabs on the left hand-side, and then Grid, then click the first plain picture without partitions.

Once you see the Grass-Sky-Cloud on your design area, you are ready to choose a Background. Click on it on the tabs again, and you will see that there are several free and paid versions, as well as just a plain color of your choice.

Next, it will depend on you on how you would like the covers to be. Do you like them worded out? Do you prefer icons?

Select Text and pick the size you prefer among the three given. Once you do, it will then be brought over to your work area, and from there you can customize its font style, font size, and font color. With mine, I used a feminine font that’s easy to read.

If you wanted icons on the other hand, go back to Elements and click Shapes this time. Now you can scroll over or search for your desired shape, to represent your highlights.

(Remember, this will automatically be seen in the façade of your Instagram profile, so make sure to adjust them to the same sizes, so the look and feel of your profile is on point!)

Once done, you can now rename your image by clicking on the Design Title, and Download them as JPG.

You may now either save them on DropBox, Google Drive, or any other cloud storage platforms, so you can access it on your phone.

How To Add Instagram Story Highlights Covers

There are two ways you can add these newly created Instagram Story Highlights Covers into your profile.

  • Upload them as normal Instagram Stories and you will be given a chance to highlight them using the heart-shaped Highlight button found below your Instagram story, add it to + New and then change its label as desired.
  • Or directly hit the + New button, and add them there.

Once they are all set, you can also Edit Cover to align all of them for a pretty sync and finish!

I hope I was able to help you through these simple steps. Show me how your design went!





Hello, fellas!

You’ve somehow stumbled upon my digital corner in the Internet.

After much procrastination, I’ve finally mustered enough courage to start my very own blog.

Ironically though, I was always compelled to write. I say compel, (v. to cause to give in to pressure) because my creative juices aren’t the kind to flow out naturally.

I am not the ‘I can’t not write’ type.

In fact, somewhere, somehow, and as you’re reading, I’m surely experiencing several episodes of writer’s block that’s more frequent than how many times you can say “EH HUEH!” repetitively, in a minute. (It’s a BretmanRock expression, in case you wonder. So fun to say!)

There is also a point in time where I stopped writing. It was a total halt. If I were to be a hypocrite, I’d say, life happened, and that days took a toll on me. Of course, those are my lame excuses. I am not a good writer anyway. (Woah, I unbelievably can’t seem to run away from yet another excuse, eh?)

Although, I always had the inclination to write. You see, there’s a very finite line between them – being compelled to write, and having the inclination to write.

In my pre-teen, I was the girl in class who makes poetries and funny articles for the sake of, I don’t know, overcoming boredom? Yet I take delight in it. Back then, (Ugh, what a way to give away my age!), we didn’t have much technology going on around.

In college, I was the classmate who enjoys proofreading projects, if not coming up with scripts. Also considering the fact that I took up Mass Communication, perhaps added fuel to the fire.

In my years of being in the executive world, I get requests from colleagues and from people of the past *insert sci-fi background music* to do technical writing on their behalf – either because they wanted to move up the corporate ladder, or they needed to send a resignation notice, and the likes. I still get them until today.

Coincidentally, I also kick-started my freelancing career by ghostwriting two e-books, which then blossomed into creating business proposals, drafting sales & marketing letters, doing product descriptions, curating website contents, and finalizing blog posts.

Oh, the days.

So, you see, writing had always been there. I didn’t notice even if it’s right before my very eyes. I had all the opportunities and reasons to write. But I never took it too seriously.

And so, that changes today.

Yet here I am, still starting out as an amateur.

Years of writing is not enough for me. Not if I never shared any of them anyhow. This will serve as the beginning of my practice. How am I doing so far?

Why Fae Flutterby?

Flutterby is a play on words, thereby known as Spoonerism, of the word ‘butterfly’.

To me, Flutterby, kind of, means, a combination of frolicsome, fair, fabulous, fluttering, and, I don’t know what else, maybe fajitas? But you get the idea.

My name, Fae, on the other hand, according to my mother, means a little fairy. So although I am nowhere near being little now, I still took it to heart, and loved fairies and butterflies, ever since.

And because I obviously have an indisputable attachment to the letter F, plus Allove Alliterations (You saw what I did there, didn’t you? Haha! I love Alliterations!) – well, voila!

Fae Flutterby is born.

From hereon, I will be publishing my interests, merely living my mundane life, documenting my thoughts, opinions, and reminders for myself to look back to, in time.

My blog will be comprised of the following categories I have listed down below. In the long run I may niche them down further, or combine them up in larger classifications. Who knows? So I hope you come find out with me.

Fun – Leisure. Travel. Adventure. They all fall under this category.

Food – I am an organicaholic – as I like calling myself so much. I love whole foods, and fresh ones. I will share all the healthy recipes I know, and maybe restaurants I visit that are great finds!

Fitness – Workout routines I personally chose to partake on.

Fashion – I barely know anything about fashion, but I will try my best to come up with stuff that’s related to this.

Frets & Flats – Music. I play the guitar and sing. I also wanted to learn how to play the piano. Maybe I’ll post some of my practices in here if it isn’t too annoying? Hah!

Flow & Fluency – Notes. Poems. Stories. Literary. Quotes. – Anything I have written in the past, or felt like scribbling down will be in here.

Freelancer Fae – Ah. This beauty. I am a fully-fledged freelancer too, by the way. Anything about freelancing, I will share with you through this section.

I know this is very diverse, and it may seem too daunting and a little too overflowing. But why not try?

It’s 2018! Execute!

Happy reading!