Fae Flutterby Shut Down

SHUT DOWN

Hello fellas!

I remember telling you all in one blog that I am going to be out of reach no more.

Along with that came opening my doors in every nooks and crannies available – Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Kakao Talk, Line – name it. I probably have it.

And guess what?

It destroyed me.

Perhaps it is because I still have yet to grasp and learn to take control of everything that came rushing in as soon as I opened my doors.

Little did I know that the little world I slowly built can easily be crumbled down if you let the wrong people in.

It can take a toll on you.

Sometimes, even if your only ulterior motive is to just be in a place of wanting to help, it can also suck up all the positivity in you.

And I am not saying everybody was.

I am probably just not as used to all the attention I am getting that it burnt me out.

I’d rather be in my little world again, really. It’s easier that way.

Also, it’s been harder to focus on the things I badly wanted to achieve. There wasn’t much improvement in any of my plans yet – and I am very disappointed with myself about that.

So I’d like to reflect on all the aspects of my life commencing today. I’d like to keep myself away from the world as much as I can – yet again.

I’d like to be in peace – focus more on the things and the people who matter, with myself being the top priority.

I deleted all my social media apps on my phone. They’re still there – afloat. I can still receive any of your messages, just that I wouldn’t be able to see them right away.

I’d probably check them from time to time though, but very rarely at that. So do let me know if you’d like to still keep connected in any way.

And we’ll see from there.

But for now – out of sight, out of mind.

If there’s ever anything urgent you need to contact me about – my mobile number will be your best bet.

And I do not have any plans of coming back until I have made some changes.

I won’t keep this long. I am overly stressed. My chest is tight. I couldn’t breathe. My head is heavy.

Until then!

 

From,

Fae

 

PLEASE READ

My life is a whole blur at the moment.

Heck, I don’t even know how I am going to get this blog post started. I just wanted to get it out. I needed to get it out. Because it’s suffocating – suffocating and empty all at once.

People have absolutely no idea that at my current state, I am losing grip on life. They all think I have my life all figured out.

But in reality, I don’t know what I’ve been doing, or where I am going, or what I am aiming at. I am too lost, and I couldn’t breathe, and I don’t know which step to take next.

I literally had to sit back on a chair and I didn’t even know where to look. I looked at myself and I looked around me – everything is a mess, and all I know is that this isn’t where I wanted to be.

What sucks more, is that, I think I have the ability to see the emptiness in people’s eyes, but nobody seems to hear the whimpers behind mine.

I think it’s a curse – but I can see people’s brokenness from afar.

And I tend to gravitate towards them like it was my life purpose – that I feel like I have the ability to make people complete in my littlest of ways.

I have always tried my best to reach out to people in hopes to be able to fill in their cracks and their gaps.

But can anybody even see the spaces in mine? The many puzzle pieces I’ve lost along the way? The little portions of myself I tend to give out even if I know I will be left with very little to none?

If you read this and know that you can talk some sense into me – this is your chance, and now is the right time.

Don’t even ask me what’s wrong, I do not know what is – in fact, everything could be.

I need you. Please reach out.