This is a shit post. Now it is up to you if you’d still want to go further, but don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.
I am contemplating about how I can break it to you gently, and then rudely burst your bubble afterwards. Because there is no easy and step-by-step way as to how.
Hate to say it, but you will feel miserable most days. That’s a given.
“So, how do you get over a heartbreak? Honestly, you can’t…”
Alright, you can stop reading now since you just got the answer you’re looking for.
“Rrrrr. Click bait!” I hear you say.
Nonetheless, there are things you can do to soften the blow. And if you’re still up for it, I’ve written them down below.
They say there is no other way around, and there is no way out. In the same way people travel for the experience, consider this another journey. Your journey to healing. You have to feel the pain. Only by then can you differentiate agony from comfort, and loneliness from happiness.
Do not be afraid of being alone. Although usually when being alone is when you feel the deepest seethe of pain, let it be. Do not be afraid of yourself. Accept yourself. Accept what you feel. Accept the ache – your ache. Accept your situation. Accept that what you are going through is something that will make you as a person in the future when you look back to it in time. Giving yourself time alone will allow you to get to know yourself better no matter how odd that may sound.
Make yourself busy. Keep yourself preoccupied. There are tons of things you can do, just look around. The bedsheets and the curtains – how long has it been since they were last changed? Is your kitchen sink dish-free? Can your toilet and bath use some cleaning? Is your laundry basket already complaining?
Be the person you want to date – or so they say. Get a haircut. Choose a career. Read books. Go to the gym. Travel. Get a degree. Converse. Pursue your dreams. You just freed yourself from something that might have held you back in a while. Now is the time to do the things you have always wanted to do.
No, you don’t need more tequilas and vodkas. Although you can divert to a whole lot of other things, be careful about the kind of diversion you choose to lay your focus on. There are tons and countless of diversions you can choose to fill in the gap and the absence you’re currently undergoing. Just make sure that it helps make you, and not break you further, as a person.
List down all the reasons as to why the relationship did not work out in the first place. And then list down all the reasons why you are better off not being in that relationship at all. List down all the reasons why you can make it out of this relationship alive, no matter how much it feels otherwise – for now. Carry this list with you and read it back, aloud, if you should, whenever you feel the ‘feeling’. You know what I am talking about for sure.
“Out of sight, out of mind.”
Can’t throw away the things that remind you of the person who broke your heart? Keep it somewhere where you can’t see it. The same goes for all the pictures within your relationship. You do not necessarily have to burn them off, erase them, or throw them away – depending on what you feel will help you. Because after all, all those are memories that were undeniably once a part of your life.
Where are your friends at this point in time? You can use some support system. Gather them all out!
Get yourself on a routine, even on the weekends. If you must, jot down all the things you must do within the day from when you wake up to when you get back to sleep. This will not only help you get into a routine, it will also help you accomplish little victories which are very rewarding and are highly beneficial for anyone’s well-being.
Now if I may just continue what I was saying earlier before you rolled your eyes on me…
“So, how do you get over a heartbreak? Honestly, you can’t. In a nutshell, you do not get OVER a heartbreak. You get THROUGH it.”
Now, do me a favor and remind me to re-read this whole article when my judgment is cloudy, and the days are a bit draggy.
We’re in this together.