Dear (Future) Fae,
As I type this down, and as you read along, I want you to reminisce this very moment when we were in this white room, sitting in front of our laptop, wearing a striped tank top, everything is peaceful, and it’s 3:27 AM according to the clock.
We just had coffee so we’re mildly palpitating, (We’ve always been a tea person, haven’t we?) and our right leg itches from time to time.
It’s a fine day.
I guess this is the only day I’m giving this blog too much thought. I have been pausing from time to time to lay my hands away from the keyboard to clasp them together while I close my eyes and really think before writing again.
Perhaps it is because I wanted to compose my rather scattered ideas better, because after all, it is you whom I will be sending this to.
It feels new. Normally, our thoughts would be faster than our fingers could type – but today, here I am.
“What is going on then?” I hear your curiosity years ahead of me.
We are headed fast towards the end of 2018 and in a few days, a new year will welcome us.
I guess, at this point in time, we are just anxious of what we had become after all those years in the past, and what will be in store for us sooner or later in the future.
*clasps hands and closes eyes*
This year, we have commenced a whole lot of things we have always ONLY thought about doing.
A year of execution – as how we often put it.
We have really done a good job this year for having started all those that we have planned – but there is still this hunger and thirst for a better future coming from me.
So you can expect that I will be working hard.
How is it going out there? Has it been any different from how we are now?
*leans back on the chair and sips some water*
I bet you’re still the same, if you’re still there. If we are still there, that is.
Or did we already cease to exist?
You see, I keep getting worried these days that I might not make it to you – the future me.
Which is why, instead of writing about a Korean Skin Care Routine blog, I decided to write to you instead.
I keep feeling like my health is spiralling downwards, or that an accident awaits around the corner. I do hope and pray not.
That’s the reason I strive harder to make the best out of my days.
We have so little time. We have very few chances.
With that in mind, and having a very little circle, I know that a lot of people would not care to ask. So I’d want to take the initiative on their behalf, in case nobody dares to do so.
“Are you happy?”
“How are you in all aspects and in it’s realest sense?”
In all honesty, (And yes, this is a segue!) between my ears, I keep translating everything I am saying into Korean. I’ve been studying Korean hard these days, if you will remember. And it’s just so funny how I am writing in English, but in my head, I am talking in Korean. Weird? You best bet, we are!
In that regard, has our taste in men changed as of yet?
Any fair-skinned, chinky-eyed, somehow-tall, musically-inclined guy has taken your attention? (Just edit this out if someone very opposite is around! Hahaha!)
I wonder if anybody is keeping you inspired over there as of now. Have we been ready at all, or have we foregone the thought of loving and being loved anymore, as agreed upon by ourselves?
Taking my current state into consideration, I know you know I am currently incapable. There are so many things to work on, so many things to improve, so many things to learn, and so many things to take care of.
Have you learnt anything new that might have changed these perspectives?
Mind sharing them?
How are the little ones? I bet they’re grown-ups now. They are okay as of this point, so do not think weird thoughts at all. I know if you could, you would go back to the time you were me again, and they were littler, but rest assured that you did a good job and you did everything in your ability the best way you know how.
I am proud of you.
Okay! Sudden surge of emotions there! Whew!
*casually fans my eyes with my hands as if it’s helping*
I know, I know. We have this inevitable habit of putting ourselves down. But even if it is weird to tell you that I am proud of you, I really am.
There’s so much you have gone through, put up with, and moved on from. Your resiliency is highly remarkable!
Day by day, we keep learning too!
On days that you feel down, I hope you read this back – loud and clear if you must.
“I believe in you. I always have, and I always will.”
I’m very well aware of the fact that you have been subject to great pains because in the future you are meant to be great – all of course in God’s help and will.
So, I badly hope that no matter what, you will keep going.
YOU DO YOU!
More importantly, I hope, that at any point you are in your life right now, don’t ever let anything that will cause you to regret one day.
It’s a lesson that took longer for me, and most of us to realize.
We don’t want to be old, feeble, and full of regrets one day. Please, no.
*scratches both arms and forehead*
By now you would have probably diagnosed if we have allergies or whatnot. Hahaha! This itchiness is getting out of hand!
How are the habits coming along? Are they intact?
What’s been keeping you preoccupied these days? Are you still freelancing? Is the blog still ongoing?
I’m dead curious! I hope you spill sooner!
Guess that’s about it from me. I’ll keep it short and sweet.
Do write back to me when you can.
Also, promise me that that you will miss me from time to time, and that you won’t forget about me.
“You are loved.”