PLEASE READ

My life is a whole blur at the moment.

Heck, I don’t even know how I am going to get this blog post started. I just wanted to get it out. I needed to get it out. Because it’s suffocating – suffocating and empty all at once.

People have absolutely no idea that at my current state, I am losing grip on life. They all think I have my life all figured out.

But in reality, I don’t know what I’ve been doing, or where I am going, or what I am aiming at. I am too lost, and I couldn’t breathe, and I don’t know which step to take next.

I literally had to sit back on a chair and I didn’t even know where to look. I looked at myself and I looked around me – everything is a mess, and all I know is that this isn’t where I wanted to be.

What sucks more, is that, I think I have the ability to see the emptiness in people’s eyes, but nobody seems to hear the whimpers behind mine.

I think it’s a curse – but I can see people’s brokenness from afar.

And I tend to gravitate towards them like it was my life purpose – that I feel like I have the ability to make people complete in my littlest of ways.

I have always tried my best to reach out to people in hopes to be able to fill in their cracks and their gaps.

But can anybody even see the spaces in mine? The many puzzle pieces I’ve lost along the way? The little portions of myself I tend to give out even if I know I will be left with very little to none?

If you read this and know that you can talk some sense into me – this is your chance, and now is the right time.

Don’t even ask me what’s wrong, I do not know what is – in fact, everything could be.

I need you. Please reach out.

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CROSSWORD PUZZLE

(A Name Poetry)

Every time I put you down,
Very painfully misunderstood
Embrace it you did, with a small frown
Like no other person would

You wait patiently on my closed doors
Neither a trace, nor clue, nor sound
Silent are you with the outpour
Of deep sadness I had for you found

Regretful then will I be
In all these days and years left
At the countless times that rather we
Nicely put on a show of emotion theft

One day I will just lose you
But I sure do hope I won’t
After all we can always start anew
Remember what to do and don’t

Reminiscing from when I was in your womb
Entailed in my childhood glory
Doubting not, until whose tomb
Our mother and daughter story

 

 

Happy birthday, Ma! You are loved. 

 

From,

Fae